Okay that did it. I just saw Celine Dion on the red carpet. Damn bitch looks the same as she always has. What the hell? She just had twins too, or so I am told?
Yes, I’m tough on myself, but boy, did these two little goobers (and the three prior miscarriages) take a toll on my previously toned body. I’ve been focused on breastfeeding, and trying to enjoy my girls. I’ve taken time to fit in housecleaning and laundry. I’ve even fit in salsa babies and some snowshoeing. But if I am honest? I’ve been avoiding looking at myself or doing anything about myself.
I feel like crap.
Don’t get me wrong – I’m happy as a clam. The joy these two bring to my life is immeasurable, but I’ve been at the precipice of body reality awakening before. I know this feeling. I know what a huge battle I have ahead of me to tackle getting back to a level of fitness and diet/lifestyle that makes me happy. It’s a LOT of work. And I feel defeated at the thought of trying to fit this into the new life I am now leading, you know? Add to this that I think I may have issues with my stomach muscles (see my post under #4 about these issues), and I’m scared that if I don’t act now, I won’t ever get rid of this weird belly shape I am currently rocking.
I’ve done it before. I’ve been trained by the best. I’ve been a poster child for Greco Lean & Fit losing 29 pounds and 7.5% body fat in 10 weeks. I’ve worked under former Greco trainer Maryse, who is exceptional and now runs her own business (and, I might add, produces her own great videos and tips).
But it meant strict diet. It meant a heavy level of commitment. And it meant time, that I frankly don’t have these days! That said? We head to the sunshine of the desert shortly for 2.5 weeks. I will have the opportunity to swim, hike the mountains, go for jogs if I decide to try, and just generally, I will be able to get active again. Will that be enough? Well, for the time I am there, yes, but when I am back here? Nope. I will have to do those ab exercises (blech) and I will have to turn down the chips, the chocolate, the fast food meals and then figure out how to work all the activity in between time with my baby girls. Not easy.
I won’t look like Celine, but then…I really don’t want to. I just want to look like me again. Ya know?