We’ve made it past 12 weeks. Cause for celebration, right? Nope. Just got a call from my family Dr. to tell me that BOTH twins tested positive for a chance of Down’s syndrome on the IPS screening we just went through.
Seriously? Pissed. I am angry. WHY are we that 1 in 100, 200 or 400 that get a positive reading? WHY can’t we JUST GET SOME RELIEF FROM THIS STRESS????
I’m sorry. I am just so very frustrated, and tired, and yes…angry that we can’t just have a friggin’ normal pregnancy, filled with happiness, and nursery planning and normal, healthy problems…really. Why?
Thing is…I REALLY don’t want to do an amnio. I don’t want to increase, even slightly, the chance that we can miscarry again. I don’t want to do these violent tests on these poor, fragile babies inside of me. It’s invasive, and risky and frankly…upsetting to us all.
And further to this? What the hell would we do even WITH a better idea of the chance the babies have Down’s? I don’t think I could terminate this…I really don’t…but I don’t know.
I’m tortured and upset and I welcome any thoughts, stories, input or information you may have. Just don’t know where to go from here.
Oh…one more essential piece of info…they are saying it’s positive, but at a rate of 1 in 250! So really? That’s less than .5%.
What the fuck to do? I’m so tired of this. Tired of asking why and why me? Why couldn’t we just have had an ‘all clear’, as we should, after 3 miscarriages in a row, deserve?