I would just like to know WHY I can’t simply be allowed to enjoy my pregnancy

We’ve made it past 12 weeks.  Cause for celebration, right?  Nope.  Just got a call from my family Dr. to tell me that BOTH twins tested positive for a chance of Down’s syndrome on the IPS screening we just went through.

Seriously?  Pissed.  I am angry.  WHY are we that 1 in 100, 200 or 400 that get a positive reading?  WHY can’t we JUST GET SOME RELIEF FROM THIS STRESS????

I’m sorry. I am just so very frustrated, and tired, and yes…angry that we can’t just have a friggin’ normal pregnancy, filled with happiness, and nursery planning and normal, healthy problems…really.  Why?

Thing is…I REALLY don’t want to do an amnio.  I don’t want to increase, even slightly, the chance that we can miscarry again. I don’t want to do these violent tests on these poor, fragile babies inside of me.  It’s invasive, and risky and frankly…upsetting to us all.

And further to this?  What the hell would we do even WITH a better idea of the chance the babies have Down’s?  I don’t think I could terminate this…I really don’t…but I don’t know.

I’m tortured and upset and I welcome any thoughts, stories, input or information you may have.  Just don’t know where to go from here.

Oh…one more essential piece of info…they are saying it’s positive, but at a rate of 1 in 250!  So really?  That’s less than .5%. 

What the fuck to do?  I’m so tired of this.  Tired of asking why and why me?  Why couldn’t we just have had an ‘all clear’, as we should, after 3 miscarriages in a row, deserve? 

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4 thoughts on “I would just like to know WHY I can’t simply be allowed to enjoy my pregnancy

  1. I think here in BC they don't do the test till 16 or 18 weeks. So hopefully the results will change with a later test. I got the test done at 18 weeks because my doc said I shouldn't get in done any earlier. Keep up the good vibes and stay relax as much as possible.

  2. Hey Pam,
    My friend went through this exact thing last year — she was a wreck waiting for the amnio results. She tried to avoid bonding further with her baby, just in case she got a positive result and decided to terminate — but it turned out that everything was fine. The false positive rate is extremely high, she had such a difficult time with the whole experience that she says she wishes she'd never had the stupid risk marker screening test in the first place. I can imagine that this is a really stressful and upsetting turn of events, but the likelihood is that your babies will be just fine…it sucks that you have to wait so long and endure more tests to get to the other side of this though. Best of luck!

  3. I spoke a little with the Dr. while trying to digest what she was saying, and I indicated that maybe there was something else I could do, or redo, to get a better result or more info. the only thing she suggested was the maternal serum test, but that has to wait for another month until we are over 16 weeks. We have our first appointment with the OB on May 19th, so two weeks from now…but even though I know these tests aren't very accurate, it still pisses me off (at least right now, I'm angry and frustrated) that it just HAD to be positive for us, you know? Haven't we been through enough? I mean, c'mon!!!

  4. Pam, I am sorry that you have to deal with this test result. Have you had a chance to talk to the Dr. about your options? I don't want to minimize what you are dealing with right now- I can't imagine after all you guys have been through- but it seems that the rate of false positives on these tests are so hi… like 1 in 8, maybe your Dr. might have some other less invasive tests to suggest. When do you get transferred to your OB?

    Dawna

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