Holding pattern. I’m in it. Feel like I am just going through the motions, waiting impatiently for things to change. When did the joy I used to have leave me? I mean, that sounds really really harsh, but if I am totally and completely honest, I have to say that I am just not myself. I really just don’t have the zest for living that I did only 9 months ago. Whether understandable or not, legitimate or not, I just can’t seem to shake the feeling that no matter what laughs I have, or what I change or do that is fresh and new, it is all just shaded (jaded?) a little grey. It’s not as bright as it was, or as charged with energy as it used to be. And nothing is going to change that until we get pregnant again.
I know only too well how unhealthy this attitude is, but I can’t seem to change it. I know that if I simply try not to think about it, and continue on as normal, living and loving and laughing and sweating etc. (and at times I have succeeded in this mission), that I will be a lot happier, but Aries are never known for their patience.
Patience is NOT my strong suit.
So let’s get going, already!!!