So this summer, shortly after miscarriage number two, I received an email from a volleyball contact out to her entire list of vball friends. The email was asking if there was anyone willing to play beach 2s with a girl who had ‘lost’ her partner to a bad ankle sprain. So…since I hadn’t signed on for a beach league, I thought…what the hell – let’s do it, and have fun. So I met the new partner, and proceeded to have a decent beach league season with her. Who is she? Well, a petite, asian, environmental engineer, who, up until this week, I knew very little about.
Turns out she’s a really funny, interesting person, and it took me all summer to even know it. To celebrate the end of our beach season, we decided to head out for drinks and dinner after work on Wednesday night. So now, without further ado, two interesting anecdotes from my partner.
Story 1: Sun-dried worms
She is so funny. A discussion of the pseudo-environmental approaches of each of us in our lives – a little self-justification and pontificating on how bad others can be led to a discussion about green boxes, then composters. Then…she gave me advice, should I ever decide to compost. She said, “Don’t get the worms. Waste of time. I tried, but you have to try keep them from dying in the winter, so you end up with kitchen pet worms during the winter, and they, in turn, invite the flies. Then, after all that effort, after you move the bin back outside, the PH changes in the soil, they all struggle to survive, and so they crawl out, all over the deck outside the door, and die, baking in the sun.” She added…”Just little black, shriveled up sticks. Not very sustainable!”
Story 2: Time for kids
So she’s 30. And like any conversation with me lately, the discussion turns to pregnancy and trying again, and she says to me, “Hey, I think we’re gonna try soon too – that’ll be great – I’d love to have someone go through it at the same time as me!” So far, so normal. That’d be great, right? Weeeelllll, maybe not. She proceeds to tell me that ever since she got married, her husband has been trying to get her to say she’s ready. According to her, she said that in 4 years (yup – it’s been four years) she would be ready. She’s not so sure. So guess what she’s done to put off the inevitable a little longer? She’s making her husband earn it. Yes, folks, getting to baby-making status requires real EFFORT – it’s a competition with a lot of sacrifice! Or, at least, that is my partner’s approach to it. She has created a points system for her poor, hapless man. He gets points for making her dinner, points for buying her a gift, etc. etc. etc. The objective? To earn 1,000 points. His current tally? 20.
Like I said, delightful.