So here it is, the eve of my return to work, and I can happily report that our pantry shelves are in (and look so good, they look custom) and the garden is DONE – D-O-N-E, Done! The fence still isn’t completed and the house is SUCH a mess, but it feels good to have some major projects done.
I have been doing a bit of soul searching to try and figure out what snapped and why I have been obsessively working on my To Do list, and I think I have got it. Here it is:
All my life, when I have had a goal/dream, I have been able to work toward it and achieve it. I have had control over that destiny, and have rarely retreated or taken a step backwards. It’s not my style. So it has occured to me that the reason I have had SUCH a hard time accepting my miscarriages is because it is a HUGE step backwards in my goals. It has felt, both times, as though I am moving backwards and having to start again, and it has not only unnerved me, it has been VERY hard for me to accept! THUS, the most cathartic response for me has been to do what I can CONTROL, and tackle the home improvements to feel like I am still moving forward with my life, with my plans, and moving towards achieving my dreams. It makes sense, doesn’t it? It sure has made me feel better…
And on that note, it is time to clean up the mess from yesterday’s garage sale (sold a few big items and all told, took in about $75…not bad, eh?) and go downstairs to our gorgeous new pantry to start organizing and STORING all the items in this house that have never had a place to rest. It is going to feel great!
Not as great as some heat and sunshine would, though – where is our warmth?